Where on Earth are These “Polling People?”

By AMANDA KOCH, Assistant Managing Editor

I’ve been waiting around for a long time now. I’ve been waiting for my chance to take part in a poll –

a political poll, more specifically. I have never been asked for my opinions by a recognized organization and frankly, I’m a little offended. What qualifies all these other people to be asked extensive, sometimes personal and, as I imagine them, intriguing and thought-provoking questions?

In the Oct. 20 issue of TIME Magazine there is a special report titled, “You. A Voter’s Guide.” When I read that I immediately looked around me, perhaps someone on the PATH train had been asked to participate. Surely, that “you” they referred to was not “me.” ‘They didn’t ask me anything,’

I thought to myself insolently. Like all polls they claimed around 1,000 likely U.S. voters were asked to participate. At the rate polls are released during the election year I should have been asked my opinion ten times already.

My surly mood deepened after reading the second page of the writer’

s thesis on how I think about politics. I learned I am a rational voter, which at first made me feel superior, but that quickly faded to indignation when I read their description. Apparently, as a rational voter I actively seek out information on both candidates, consider the positives and negatives of both and evaluate their interests against my own. Pretty smart strategy, right? Wrong. Passive, frugal and intuitive voters are less likely to make an incorrect choice, meaning picking a candidate who does not reflect my views. I guess they think all that information I am actively seeking out will confuse me.

I did learn some things from this poll, however. I learned Republicans always win the votes of the richest individuals, except for that time the richest voted for LBJ, although I feel the need to point out that in the 1964 column all five voting groups were for Johnson; Goldwater had a very poor showing. I learned that Independents generally go for Republicans too, which surprised me. I learned that in the last fifty years of all presidential candidates, Nixon won the popular vote by the largest margin of percentage points, which actually made me laugh. Americans have such good taste, right?

And when it comes to the candidates and their running mates now? Well, single women hate Palin, but love Obama so much it’s almost embarrassing. Eighty-eight percent of Democrats would vote for the Obama/Biden ticket if the election were today. And so would 88 percent of liberals, which made me laugh again –

this time at TIME magazine for differentiating between Democrats and liberals. And who likes Biden? People who seldom or rarely go to church.

In the end, I mostly approved of TIME’s likely voters and their opinions. It seemed they were a pretty accurate representation of what people in the U.S. are thinking. I am still pretty pissed though, especially after reading the pop quiz portion and realizing 15% of the respondents couldn’t tell you who the current vice president of the U.S. is. Really, these are your likely voters, TIME? Apparently they didn’t vote in the last election.

I’d still like to point out, however, that I have never known anyone who was asked to participate in a poll, and when I read the qualifications I think I’m a pretty good fit. This makes me a bit suspicious, but I’m still going to patiently wait until these polling organizations come to their senses and call my number.

Amanda Koch can be reached at amandarosekoch@gmail.com.